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Sharing finances with a narcissist

  • 🎬 Video
  • ℹ️ Description
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.
THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

💬 Comments on the video
Author

This video is so important! If you have your own money you are much, much less vulnerable. My grandmother blossomed like a rose when she finally got her own money as a pensioner. My grandfather's power over her was over. He couldn't put her down anymore. She was free.

Author — tarantiae

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Best advice on sharing finances with a narcissist: don't do it. Just don't do it.

Author — Jean Blythe

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The comment section here is amazing. Literally feels like everyone is describing the same one person.
Thank you for this video Dr Ramani ❤

Author — Jachimma

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Narcissists feel that they’re entitled to have anything they want; especially money. They NEVER want to share financial responsibilities. As Dr. Ramani stated in one her previous videos, narcissists use money to control other people. It’s all about control!

Author — Amarna Mizelle

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Finances are literally the ONE stipulation that should NEVER be negotiated!!! If you are in a relationship with a narcissist now, with joint account; start putting money aside, small inconsistent amounts that they won't care about. Have some cash and a separate account in a different bank in a different town that has shops you like. ALWAYS have a way out. Even in healthy relationship you should know your entrances and exits

Author — Rusty Spike

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Not only did he take my money, he also got me to pay off his bills. The worst part is when you are trying to leave the relationship, you have to make drastic decisions on what is important: your freedom or your possessions? I made the decision that my freedom was above all. I lost my dog in the process because he saw how much it meant to me and felt it was one way to keep control over me. I resigned myself to the loss because I knew I wouldn't get out unscathed. I haven't seen that dog in 7 years. I miss her but I was dying being with him.

Author — April McCarty

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His excuse for denying everything: “time and money”. He had no issue spending time and money secretly on his addictions and deceits.

Author — Gigi BTSurvivor

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The problem is there is Rarely Any Financial Transparency at all. They don’t want anyone putting a light to their financial dealings, especially an auditor

Author — Michael Skinner

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I used to have a narcisistic friend who makes twice as much money as I do. We used to go to professional conferences together: out of state and in foreign countries. Our rocky friendship [love bombing, devaluation, breadcrumbing discarding, etc...repeat] spilled over and we used to meet on weekends for dinner. While we were at conferences, I would always invite her to the many dinners that my vendors would treat me to. I didn't have to do that but I stupidly did, because I didn't understand that she was a sick narcissist and I used to gaslight myself. Thanks to me, the glutton ate at many 5 star restaurants for free. Back home, however, she never once said, you've invited me to dinner so many times, allow me to treat you to dinner at lease once NEVER! We used to go to eat and everything was carefully divided down to the last cent. Narcs are cheap as hell and don't appreciate anything you do for them.

Author — Rayarena

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My ex got so mad at me when I said I wouldn’t want to join finances 100% if we got married. I’m good with money and he is constantly in debt.

Author — Cindy V

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Money is an obsession with them. My former spouse was/is obsessed with being a millionaire. He uses money to control. It is also his Achilles’ heel.

Author — Gigi BTSurvivor

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Sharing finances was my biggest mistake. His money was his money AND my money was his money. He controlled everything for what only he wanted. However I always made sure I knew how much we really had. We had a hugh fightf; I separated our joint money & also separated the bills. Do not mistake my silence for stupidty; my calmness for acceptance, or my kindness as weakness.

Author — Karen Mattice

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I was briefly married to one and when I tried to leave he cleaned out the joint bank account. Financial abuse is a thing with these people. My parents were masters of this.

Author — heather

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For the last 6 years I have given all to a man who has never given anything but empty promises. The mistake I made was thinking that to be a narcissist meant he has to be super intelligent and somewhat in control of his life. I have learned however that this isn't true. Unfortunately I learned the hard way after YEARS of being faithful and believing all the promises. ALL because I needed to feel like I wasn't alone. I ended up being more alone than ever. And hurt more than any words can describe. I held on even longer because I needed closure. But he'd never validated my feelings so why I thought I would ever find closure is beyond me. I think it's that hope that maybe he'll change because it's so foreign to us that a person can be so selfish and cruel and NOT feel bad and eventually change. But they don't. Don't fool yourself into believing that you are the one who can change them because NOBODY can.

Author — Holly Vissage-Smith

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This video is 💯% accurate and on point (as usual). Thank you Dr. Ramani!

Author — Amarna Mizelle

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The narcissist in my life made me believe we were broke while draining it all. He blamed me for all shortfalls and it's shocking that the court system doesn't seem these behaviors as stealing. I went back and discovered months where he made $10-$50, 000 disappear in debits. When I discovered it I was distraught, I was married to a stranger.

Author — K Wigley

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Becoming financially independent first before getting into a relationship is a good idea. Being codependent and having conversation over finances can be very exhausting.

Author — pianofeedviolet

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My ex narc and I shared finances, or at least that's what I thought, when we went through the discard phase, I discovered she had a secret credit card and a stash of cash. I, on the other hand, had been open with her and had to go into debt when we split up. Good times.

Author — Sparky Gump

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There is no sharing - period. And they quickly forget your contributions…while they spend frivolously on addictions and to show off in front of others…

Author — Stephanie

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My ex and I committed to use all our exemptions throughout the year. Then when tax time comes we were supposed to split them.

We did this for YEARS, I finally realized he changed his so he wouldn't have to pay as much taxes but still got half the money when I paid way more throughout the year.

Please, please, please listen to her. She is correct!

Author — Terry Vest